Thursday, 16 December 2021


 There are two occasions in my life when I have felt that I was at heaven’s gate, but on each occasion - well – I am still here, aren’t I?

Alone in a strange land, as I regained consciousness from a head-on collision, I had a picture in my mind of a young Ghanaian brother, who had died very suddenly just a fortnight ago, now dancing before the Lord. (Ghanaians can dance) ‘Lord’, I whispered, ‘You took William, but you did not take me.’

No, it was not an audible answer, but it was one I have never forgotten.

‘Because of the children.’

 For nearly forty years I have had the privilege of teaching the children that they are special and loved by God. How I thank him that he had not opened the gates of heaven to me at that time.  

Photo by Arto Marttinen on Unsplash
But now I am ninety years old. I have been rejoicing that for over a year I have enjoyed good health and no ‘incidents’, when suddenly and very painfully I found myself once again in hospital where it was swiftly decided that I should be fitted with a pace-maker. However, before this could be done, once again I found myself at heaven’s door. I regained consciousness to look into what seemed like a crowd of anxious, now relieved faces.

But heaven’s gates seemed so very near to me. I was pleading with the Lord to let me in. Like my beloved husband, I would be saved the indignity of old age. But once again I must believe that God still has a purpose for me, though no longer in the schools.

Back in the ward I was crying in pain. I had to accept that the doors of heaven were firmly closed, but our Saviour had left heaven once before to come to save us. ‘Lord,’ I whispered. ‘Would you send Jesus to help me?’

He did. I know that Jesus was present in the loving nurse who came now and sat and held my hand. I found Jesus too in some of the patients whom I had previously found so difficult, and now I am back home I am realising what a privilege it is to be still here to bring Jesus to others, and what a wonderful gift is each day that he gives us.

And I thank God that he is teaching me that the gates of heaven are never closed to us, even though he is asking us to remain here as conduits of his grace and love and power.


I knocked in vain at heaven’s door

‘Lord, open now’ I cried

‘For I am weak and helpless

Oh, leave me not outside.’

‘No, not outside, Beloved –

Nought bars your entering in

Remember that I sent my Son

To conquer death and sin.

The door to heaven is open

Though you’re still here, weak and frail

For I’ve given you life in Jesus

And for you there is no veil.

So rejoice in your life in Jesus.

He has conquered death and hell

And though your strength is failing

In me you will prevail.’



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