‘Nothing Miss’ the kids would lie, when I was on the hunt for chewing gum, a teacher’s pet hate. But today I am more concerned about what’s in my own mouth, and what comes out of it.
It is so easy to speak out negative things, grumbles and groans and pessimism.
‘Oh Pauline, you are so stupid.’ No one is around when I walk round telling myself off, – yet in my heart I know I am not stupid. Probably I wasn’t concentrating. And I wouldn’t dream of saying such a thing to you if you made some mistake.
It was when I was living in the Highlands of New Guinea that I learned the importance of having good things come out of my mouth.
I had fallen into a hole; a hole of ill health, depression and self-pity. I’m sure you would have pitied me too, but instead, God came into the situation with his cure.
He told me, through a ministry tape, that Jesus is the Apostle and High Priest of our confession. If we are speaking out negative things, then Jesus as our High Priest, has nothing to present to the Father, but if we will speak out God’s word then he can take this to the Father, and God cannot deny his own word.
‘Don’t say, ‘Why doesn’t God heal me?’ but claim his word and say, ‘You are the Lord who is healing me.’ The preacher continued, ‘Tell the Lord, I am delighting myself in you and you are giving me the desires of my heart.’
Now, I was suffering, physically and emotionally, from a broken heart. I had thought God had promised me a husband, and since one had not yet appeared I had come to the uttermost parts of the earth, trusting that he would. And then came John, riding over the mountains on a white charger – no, actually he flew up and now he was on the mission motor bike, but it all seemed like a fairy tale romance. Then the bubble burst. It was all over, my hopes of a husband and family gone, for I was nearing forty by now.
But now God was speaking to me. In obedience I went home, knelt by my bed and told the Lord, ‘I am delighting myself in you and you are giving me the desires of my heart.’
I didn’t get immediate healing, but somehow, little by little, a miracle happened. I found God was giving me such joy in my work among the women and children that when, some months later, my friends, all radiant, announced their engagement, I thought, They can’t be any happier than I am.
How thankful I am that God taught me to have his word in my mouth and speak it out. It was more than ten years before God brought Joel into my life. How glad I am I wasn’t moaning and feeling sorry for myself all those years, for he was surely worth waiting for.
I guess we all fall into pits from time to time, so let’s not wait until we are out to praise the Lord, but right now let’s speak out our confidence in him and his word. He is still in the business of miracles. Say with me, ‘I am delighting myself in you, and you are giving me the desires of my heart.’