AN ANSWER TO PRAYER

It was a very little prayer, but what a great answer. I was returning home after a wonderful holiday with ‘Bridgens Tours.’ It wasn’t just the weather, the food, but especially it was the fellowship which makes me describe it as wonderful. We were nearly thirty in our party, - some have become part of my history, and others newly discovered, but all members of my family through Jesus. So now, yes, I would be glad to return to my own bed, but how could I face an empty house?

When I was so happily married, I had felt I could never stay in my bungalow if Joel were not there. He always filled it with sunshine. But as I faced returning to an empty house for the first time, -thirteen years ago now, Jesus brought a memory to mind. Out in the highlands of New Guinea, I was standing on the veranda of a mission house, watching the truck driving away with my colleagues. I would only be alone for the weekend before my sister would be there to keep my company, but oh, as I looked at the grass lands stretching to the distant mountains and no house within earshot, how desolate it seemed. ‘Oh Lord,’ I sighed. What kind of a prayer was that?

Turning to go into the house, suddenly I knew Jesus was there, beside me. Filled with joy, I began to sing, and then I was dancing. He was keeping his promise, ‘I will never leave you or forsake you.’

As ‘this same Jesus’ reminded me of this story from long ago, I knew he would do it again. So now, every time I put the key in the door of my home I ask him, ‘Be there for me, Lord,’ and every time I step into joy. Every time, Jesus is there to greet me.

But now, having waved goodbye to all my lovely family, I was drugged with tiredness after the long bus journey. Would I fall into a pit of depression? Again I prayed, ‘Be there for me.’

‘Hello Pauline, I’ll help you with your case.’ I had not had to ask. My lovely neighbour had seen me drive in, and soon had my case on the mat and was giving me a hug of welcome. And, oh yes, as I picked up the mail (that had always been our first job) I found not one, but two very special snail mail letters, -what I call ‘proper’ letters.

Two very ordinary happenings, you may think, but because I asked, and God had answered, it became a very special welcome home.

I am so thankful that we have a God who hears and answers prayer, and who has promised that he will never leave us or forsake us. Yes, it does say, before you call I will answer, but I know he loves to hear his children call out to him.    A very little prayer, and a very special answer.

SEATED WITH CHRIST

If we are asked to take a seat, that should give us a measure of security. We are welcome. But to be seated with Christ, that is beyond human understanding, but not beyond faith. 

The first time I met Esther, she was seated alright. We were at college and a friend wanted me to meet her. She took me to her room. We heard a clear ‘come in!’ but - where was she? As I entered I could not locate her until I lifted my eyes and there she was, perched on the round back of her sturdy office chair which was against the wall, her feet on the seat. Somehow it was much too ordinary to sit as anyone else of us would do. 

I’m sure that, as a child, Esther thought sofas were meant to be bounced on, or chairs to be made into tunnels or even castles. Life was not meant to be ordinary, but exciting. 

No wonder she entered with joy into the life we are offered in Christ, and she set out on a life of adventure with God, working for over twenty years in Africa.. Yes, she knew what it was to be seated with Christ in heavenly places. 

So how could it be that now, in her old age, she did not know how to sit down? Eventually she realised she did not have to perch on the arm of her chair but dared to yield herself to the comfort of its seat. 

I was grieved to see the deterioration of my dear friend, such a great women of God, but my companion assured me that she was not unhappy in her dementia. Indeed this friend she loves to drive me over to visit Esther as she is so blessed by hearing her sing. Once we get her singing the wonderful songs she learned in Sunday School, or in her early years in church, we have a little bit of glory. Her voice is still as strong as in our college days where she was chosen to sing the solo parts of Bach’s glorious chorales. Perhaps it is no wonder she doesn’t know what to do with a chair after misusing them for so long, but she knows a wonderful security in her relationship with Jesus, and she is still seated with Christ in heavenly places.

JUST ONE LONELY LAMB

Driving out of the estate of Cricket St. Thomas, made famous for the filming of  ‘To the Manor Born’ we had enjoyed a break with Bridgens Tours, but now, packed into our comfy minibus, we  noticed this one solitary lamb. What was he doing there all on his own?  Obviously some days since his birth, for his legs were strong, we knew he should not have been alone. All week we had enjoyed watching the  flocks of sheep, their little ones gambling around or suckling contentedly.

We had nearly driven through the gates  when we caught a glimpse of an elderly shepherd. He already had a  newborn in his arms. Doubtless he was intent on taking it home to the farmhouse where his wife, maybe, would care for this helpless little one when he had spotted the wanderer, and was now striding purposefully towards it.

No, this one was not in need of the warmth of the kitchen or of a nourishing bottle, just of being rounded up and sent in the right direction to where it would be reunited with his mother, safe and protected.

How comforting to know that however long we have been walking with Jesus, and though we are still prone to wander, we cannot go beyond the care of Jesus, our good Shepherd.

And perhaps God was using that wayward lamb to remind us that none of us are  meant to ‘go it alone.’ Yes, all we like sheep have gone astray, but the Good Shepherd has brought us into his flock and into his green pastures, and is far more concerned for each one of us, that we should not stray beyond his care.

MY TELEPHONE FRIEND

There is an English speaking fellowship in the south of Spain, where everyone knew that Brenda had a telephone friend.

Well, that is how it started out. Another friend, also living out there, was very concerned for her. ‘Can you imagine anything worse’ she asked me; ‘to be blind and in constant pain?’

Well, yes I could. Whatever our circumstances, if we have Jesus we have everything. There are some who may have their health, wealth, home, but if they are not loved or appreciated, and if they are constantly abused, even just verbally, how wretched is their condition? That is, unless they have Jesus in their lives, to bear their pain and pour in the oil of consolation.

Those were my thoughts, until Brenda told me how she had intended to spray bleach into her sink, but, alas, the nozzle was turned the wrong way and found it had gone into her eyes, causing extreme pain and maybe even more damage.

Loneliness, too, can be very hard to bear, and my heart went out to this elderly lady suffering the affliction of blindness on top of many other ailments.

No, I couldn’t imagine anything worse. I have a special rate for overseas calls, so I asked for Brenda’s phone number.

What a feisty lady I met on the other end of the phone. Full of joy and faith for all that God was doing in their fellowship, and interested too in my circumstances, our time was whizzing by. We kept a date for Saturday evenings, but I had to remember to put my timer on so that we did not overrun the hour. And so, by now I too had a very special telephone friend.

Brenda may have been weak in body, but she was so strong in faith. She had known miracles in answer to her prayers, and though she did not receive healing for her sight, she was not deterred.

She had been so thrilled to tell me that though their fellowship had been through storms, now a lovely Irish gentleman, with his wife, was coming to shepherd them. This was a new beginning and her weekly telephone logs were full of joy, until –

Yes, sadly her dear Pastor seemed to be undergoing personality changes, and at last a brain tumour was detected. ‘But prayer was made’ along the coast, yes, and at the end of the line here in UK too, until the wonderful news buzzed over the wires, that he was healed.

But once again there was trouble in the fellowship. As it says in the parable, ‘an enemy has done this.’ Could it be?

But nothing deterred our Brenda from praying. By now dependant on carers coming in and other wonderful caring friends, she still spent hours in intercession.

I remember how she would laugh about how she and a friend were bouncing at either end of her sofa, but it was no laughing matter, for her flat was at the top of a high rise building. Their part of the coast were experiencing a succession of smaller earthquakes, while more serious ones were threatened. The bouncing may have seemed a laughing matter while a friend was with her, but when she struggled out of bed to find the furniture had been moved out of place through the quakes she felt completely disorientated.

And more serious quakes were forecast and I  remember too how she wrestled with God in prayer, and how, the following week she told me how the expected course had been deflected away from the coast and the lives of many people saved in answer to their prayers.

 But how grieved Brenda was that there seemed to be no further miracle for their dear pastor.  She had been so sure that he was to be the answer to their need in the fellowship. How she poured out her complaint to her Saviour and Friend.

I had known that Brenda might well reach heaven before me, and how could we wish her to linger? But a friend had prophesied that she would see her 82^nd birthday, and I wrote this poem for this special occasion, and she pressed on for a few more months.

I confess I wept when her friends let me know that she was in hospital with a stroke, and where could she go when she came out? But I knew my tears were selfish ones, and it was with thanksgiving that we heard she was safe home. The Lord has been preparing a very special place for her, and a very special reception committee for her too, for only the day before, God  had called their dear pastor, too, into his presence and he would have been there, waiting for her.

We prayed for our dear Pastor Warren and now he is doing well not just in answer to our prayers,  but all in her fellowship had to pray for him (at her command), while there are other of her prayers yet to be answered and I am confident that they will be, since she has entered into the presence of Jesus, the One who ever lives to make intercession for us.

I thank God for this very special lady, and for the privilege God gave me of being her ‘telephone friend.’  So if sometimes the hours seem long and you are in need of a friend, maybe God has a special telephone friend waiting for you to call.

                                    SOLDIER OF CHRIST

Brave warrior, limping, weary from the fight,

As friends we’re gathered here to cheer you on

Not yet, not yet to lay your weapons down

But courage bring to face the last lap home

So let us pause awhile to give God praise

Strong in his strength, though ours may long have fled

Once more together drink this cup of joy

Once more in glad assurance break the bread

Then gladly we will trust you to the care

Of him whose death has won such rich reward

So soon will darkness yield to glorious sight

Of Christ our Saviour, Holy, Holy Lord

LOOKING FORWARD TO EASTER

In the heart of  our land is the Gower Peninsular, one of Britain’s best kept secrets, they say, but in the heart of the Gower is an even greater secret, but one we need to share abroad. On the cliff top, over looking  Oxwich Bay is a very special place, Nicholaston House. Here is a welcome for all who need healing,   refreshing, or renewing of their faith.

‘Looking forward to Easter’ was a special week of preparation for our celebration of Easter, (Passover as some prefer to call it.) What a privilege to step into this house, to read afresh God’s promise  written on the walls of the foyer, ‘In this place you will find peace,’  and to know God was meeting with us in a special way as we were welcomed by the dedicated staff, settled into  the beautiful rooms with views across the gardens to the bay, and oh yes, to be  well satisfied by the delicious meals provided. Our fellow guests had soon become friends, and now we were safe and secure, ready to experience the ministry God had provided to refresh, restore and lead us deeper in our walk with him.

Out of her own experience of healing Helena first asked us all to introduce and share a little of our own walk with the Lord before she introduced the theme of our meditations, which was  Intimacy with Jesus, the shepherd King, the Lover in the story of the Shulamite recorded in the Song of Songs attributed to Solomon.  

Our time together met needs of spirit, soul and body. Those with still strong legs scrambled their way down to the bay, strode, or even puffed their ways to the top of Cefn Bryn while some of us were blessed by a quiet stroll in the beautiful gardens.

The Celtic chapel is a special part of the blessing. Staff and visitors met together each morning for devotions. Not only did God speak to us through his word, but helped us raise the voices some of us   thought we had lost, teaching us to listen too as he blended our voices in harmony, while the spirit of the Lord was present to heal.

We were not just looking forward, but felt we were walking towards Easter as we shared the Seder meal, where we were taught the significance of the Jewish Passover, - looking back to  the Passover lamb who died for them in Egypt, but of Christ our Passover whose death and resurrection we celebrate.

It was a precious meditation as we followed the Stations of the Cross (with pictures placed strategically around the house,) where we read the appropriate scriptures, ending with a time of worship in the chapel, while our last evening together was a very meaningful sharing of communion, our Lord’s Supper.

Good Friday: Our last time of worship in the chapel, and then those who could joined in a united service of local churches, gathering around the cross on the green at Reynoldstone and then carrying it to the top of Cefn Bryn.

As we returned to celebrate Easter Day in our own fellowships, I trust we will remain impacted by the meditations Helena led us in concerning Intimacy: that we will determine to refuse negativity but accept God’s delight in us as the Shulamite had to; continue to experience that wonderful sense of belonging; know he calls us too by name, and  share that deep experience of companionship that those first disciples knew, who shared their lives as friends of the Master. May we press on to know God as Lord, as our tender hearted parent, and provider;  understanding and being understood.

I’m sure we were all deeply challenged as we considered those blockages which may so easily arise, and even as I write to share my blessings, I ask myself, ‘Am I willing to be alone with my Saviour?’ May I, as the Shulamite had to, guard against complacency, and ever keep that spark of first love ready to burst into a flame, and to sing of those ten thousand reasons we each have to bless our wonderful Lord.

Yes, we were looking forward to Easter, but now may we all walk with confidence in the reality of Easter Day. Now is Christ risen indeed.

GRACE AWAY WEEKEND – 2016

Barton Camp is a great venue, especially when ‘Grace’ gathers as a family. We were well over seventy of us this year. - Wonderful to feel that it is Jesus has called us together, and that we are come up into the mountain with him, for refreshing, yes, and commissioning before he sends us forth again.

It would be our third year in this venue, and I knew I would be spoiled. A room to myself instead of bunk beds, and excused from washing up or cooking rotas. 

No Kids Club for us. Our own wonderful youth had come from Uni to care for the little ones. Why then did I have misgivings about coming? I may be of the same age as Caleb who at 85 was ready to claim a mountain, but not too steady on my pins, I was afraid of being a liability. Should I stay home and enjoy my lonely comfort?

But no. Our wonderful leadership team had been working so hard to give us all a special time of blessing. All they wanted was for us to come and be blessed. Thank God I had sense not to let the enemy rob me of this blessing.

Nearing meal time, the dining room (or was it the dinning room?) was filled with happy families, the children so happy with their playmates even when  rain kept them from adventure playgrounds outside. Always a happy hustle in the kitchen where cuppa’s were on offer while they prepared tasty meals and treats, and a special ‘tent of meeting’ where we met for worship. (With special drapes on the ceiling, it has the appearance, but not the discomforts of a tent.)

Each year the ministry is different. This time Ewan and Tom brought ministry from Ephesians, all to the end that we might be ready to go out with the gospel. And while the wind roared around the buildings, God’s Holy Spirit was moving so that, as a field of corn, we bowed before his great strength.

But now we got to the nitty gritty. Teaching on Spirit-led holiness and Spirit-led power are all to the end that we might put on our shoes of the Gospel of Peace, go forth and tell others. This is the hard bit.

Oh dear, whatever wonderful opportunities God gives me, in the schools and through my writing, still there is this issue of personal evangelism.  I was not the only one feeling convicted. But no – ‘there is no condemnation to those in Christ Jesus.’ Once I win the struggle of telling God that I am willing for him to use me, all I have to do is go out into the world, knowing that it is  he who will create opportunities for me to tell others that God is willing to be to them too a wonderful Saviour.

Thank God for his family of Grace, and for his ministry to and through each one of his children.

THANKSGIVING FOR MY SISTER AND MY FRIEND – given at my sister’s funeral

It was when Mary had joined me for a year in New Guinea that one of the Missionaries children asked me, ‘Is Auntie Mary your sister or your friend?’ I was delighted to tell her that she was my sister and my friend.

We were in a family of four. Big brother John, Mary, me next and then our little sister Joy. We used to say the rhyme, ‘2,4, 6, 8…..’, but it was when we found salvation that we became very close.

Mary  by now was trapped in a very unhappy marriage. But I was teaching with Esther and had attended the house groups in her home – they had just been led into the Apostolic Church, - and was challenged to leave the cult in which we had been brought up. It was a very hard time for me. Our parents, and the dear friends with whom we had been brought up, thought I had gone to the devil. I was scared to meet them, and equally scared of the folk in the little Apostolic church in Barking where they spoke in tongues, but some would behave somewhat strangely. How could I go on?

I came home from the prayer meeting to find Mary had been sent back home by her husband. Tragedy for their marriage, but what a strength for me. It was just a few weeks and Mary too had left the ‘Bible Students’ and together we were accepted into Apostolic Fellowship at Barking. But before she left, she had had opportunities to speak out boldly of our faith in the Trinity,  that Jesus is our Lord and our God and the Holy Spirit a person within the Godhead.

At that time I found great difficulty in expressing myself and had felt that I had to speak by my actions, but together we were able to make our position plain.

Mary’s difficulties in her marriage increased, for now her husband blamed all his troubles onto Pentecost and the Apostolic Church. One evening he had come round to see our parents to warn them of the great danger we were in. Mary and I were huddled in my bedroom, wrapped in a blanket of depression fearing the outcome, when suddenly Mary began to sing –

            ‘I’ve wondrous peace through trusting, a well of joy within…..

It goes on ‘To the uttermost Jesus saves.’    We sang it right through, and that little room was filled with glory.

It was on one of the occasions when her husband had left her that we went to a Divine healing service. ‘We believe that God can heal marriages,’ the minister declared. Mary went forward for prayer for the healing of her marriage, and God did heal, though she had to face many trials before then.

Mary began to have serious health issues, which doctors had thought caused by her difficult marriage, and eventually they found she had a very large brain tumour. She was a tremendous testimony in it all, asking for all those who knew her to pray, and facing it all without fear. She was the Area Women’s leader in  London at that time, and she had courage to lead these big rallies, even though she struggled for some time with recalling  words.

Now reunited, she was able to care for her husband until he died.(He was 20 years older than she was.) She continued to care for his older sister for another 9 years, while she was a faithful deaconess in the Ilford assembly, like Phoebe, ‘full of good works.’

How happy we were when our dear Pastor Les cast his garment over her and became such a wonderful caring husband. With Les and Joel such good friends what a happy foursome we were, and I was able to see so much of my Sister and Friend.

In our childhood Mary was not only the pretty, but also the clever one, and went on to gain her degree at Cambridge,- how it is that now I am the one left with my wits I don’t know, but I do know Mary was always diligent to see she had her quiet time, and she had that deep relationship with the Lord with could not be destroyed.

Sometimes in her dementia she would get delusions, and if Les phoned me in the day I would know he was having difficulty. He would put Mary on to speak to her sister. It was always about  some meeting where she was supposed to be ministering, or someone in need she had to visit, and she could not convince her husband to take her..

‘Well, we’ll pray.’ So I prayed.

‘Well, you weren’t much good.’ She told me.

I acted indignant. ‘Yes, I was. I prayed.’  ‘Oh yes.’ She seemed satisfied.

It was just a few months ago that I had the sad task of telling Mary that our brother John had died. I took the album of us as children. Yes, she recognised John.

I told her, ‘John is in heaven now.’ ‘Oh!’ and her face lit up. This was something wonderful. She listened happily as I shared something of her testimony with the friends who had brought me. As it was time to go we had a time of prayer. ‘Would you like to pray, Mary?’ ‘Yes’ she said, and burst out into tongues. 

Death is always an enemy and there is sadness in our hearts, for Mary has been a sister and a friend to many of us, but for me I shall always remember how, when she saw me come to visit her she would  joyfully tell the carers, ‘She’s my sister.’

I am so privileged to have had such a lovely sister and friend.