Pilgrim
in John Bunyan’s story, after all his adventures and many adversities, comes
within sight of the Celestial city, only to find there is no way to reach it
except through this terrible river –yes, the river of death. The visualisation
made me tremble. ‘Oh, it is scary.’
And
yes, death is scary, and in no way can we shrug it off.
I am
almost ninety. I have had a good life. Why should I fear the dreaded
Coronovirus?’ Yet every day is precious, God’s gift to us, and death is still
the last great enemy.
But
we have a Saviour who has conquered death, and Jesus Christ was raised from
death ‘to deliver those who all their lives are slaves because of their fear of death.’
So,
have we been delivered from the fear
of death? After all, Jesus promised that if
we believe in him we will not see
death, but still we have to cross that scary river, and it will mean separation
from our loved ones, even if it is ‘just for a little while?’
I
have been challenged to search my own heart by a young Christian mother who had
courage to admit to her own fear of death. I recalled how, also a young woman,
I had suffered a heart attack. I had thought I was a strong Christian and was
bitterly disappointed to find that I had been very much afraid. Well – it had
certainly not been my time to die.
When
Connie Ten Boom feared the future, her father reminded her of how he did not
give her the ticket until they were in the station, and even so God provides
grace and strength only as it is needed.
Fast
forward several years. I had travelled alone to work on the mission field,
first in New Guinea, where there were many scary situations. Believe me, I had
needed grace for that, and God was always there. But it was when I was in Ghana that I was driving alone
in my car and suddenly was in a head on collision.
As I
recovered consciousness I felt as if the doors of heaven had been closed in my
face. No, I had not experienced any fear
of death, but rather a sense of disappointment.
It
is as I have been writing this account
that I realise that it was just a few days before this accident that God had,
as it were, ‘given me my ticket,’ to enable me to face this dread enemy.
In
Ghana, dance is part of our worship. A few days previously one of our young men
in the church had been dancing before the Lord, dancing with a joy and
abandonment as King David had done so many years before. Although we were all
so sad to hear of his death, sudden and inexplicable, we had no doubt in our
hearts that he was dancing now in God’s presence.
‘Oh,
God,’ I whispered, in all my pain and shock, ‘you took William, but you did not
take me.’
Wonderfully,
God whispered back to me, ‘It is because of the children.’
He continues
to remind me of that call to teach the children, if ever I feel like giving up.
There
is another occasion when death came very close, not to take me, but my beloved
husband to heaven.
Before
I could take him into hospital, the angel of death had come. His head slipped
onto my shoulder and he was gone.
The
medics were here, trying to resuscitate him. They must have thought I did not
love him for I was begging them to let him go. But it was because I loved him
so much I did not want him to be dragged back as it were from the doorstep of
heaven. As I put on his gravestone, ‘In the presence of Jesus is fullness of
joy.’
The
pain of bereavement is very great, but I could not doubt for one moment that my
Joel was safe with Jesus.
Yes,
death for the Christian is still scary, but he can and will deliver us from the
fear of death and trust him to fulfil his purposes for each of us.
‘Though
I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you
are with me.’
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