‘I didn’t have a choice,’ I insisted, when my friend expressed admiration that I had answered God’s call to go to the remote highlands of Papua New Guinea. ‘Of course you had a choice,’ she remonstrated. ‘You could have said No.’ Again I insisted, ‘that was not an option.’
This is the story I told her, so now, you judge. Do you think I had an option? You see, for me, it was a case of choosing or denying my Lord.
I was brought up in a religious movement who thought they alone had the truth. They had the answer to everything, even if it did mean twisting or explaining away a lot of the Bible. But they had not taught me that I was a sinner for whom Jesus Christ had died.
Now, wonderfully, I had met with Jesus and knew I was saved. I loved to go with my friend to the meetings in her home, but I didn’t get all the answers there. What was right and what was wrong? How could I know?
In desperation I cried out to God, ‘It was so easy for the first disciples. All they had to do was to follow Jesus, and I am having to find out what is right and what is wrong.’
God answered me, deep in my heart. ‘No, it is just the same for you. It is just for you to follow Jesus.’
‘Lord, if that is true, make it so plain for me that it is either to follow you or to deny you.’
God did just that. When someone said to me, ‘To go to a place where they deny that Jesus Christ is God would be to deny my Lord,’ I knew God had answered, and there and then I determined to leave this fellowship in which I had been brought up.
From there on this is how I make my choice. I answered God’s call to go to Papua New Guinea, but as the day drew near to go to the airport and leave everyone and everything I knew I felt, ‘Lord, I won’t be able to do it.’
God answered me with a waking dream. I saw him going through the doors at the airport. He told me, ‘I am going. You can come with me or leave me.’ Do you understand now why I say that to say no to God is not an option? How could I leave him who is everything to me?
There have been other times when I felt I could not face what lay ahead, but God has only to say to me, ‘I am going,’ and I know I must go, for I cannot leave him.
I thank God that he has taught me to make him my choice so that each morning I feel I am walking through the day with him , my God, my Saviour and my Friend.
If you are interested to read more of my life story, Wings of the Morning, you can find it on Amazon, or direct from me. My publisher hopes to have it available as an e book in the New Year.
An uplifting post, Pauline. Thank you.
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