A TIME TO DIE?

Don’t worry. I promise I will not make it depressing.

There is a verse somewhere in the Psalms about the years we live when we are over seventy are but labour and sorrow, but ours most certainly were not.

Joel was a theologian so he should know. He said that Psalm was written to those condemned to wander and die in the wilderness and not to us, but for those in Christ we can accept old age as a special reward.

His first wife, Betty, had worked beside Joel through times of revival in Nigeria, then later through years of warfare and hardship in what has now become Zimbabwe.

I had returned to U.K. expecting to return to Ghana, to hear that Joel’s Betty had died very suddenly. God led us in a plain path and I learned to fill my role as a pastor’s wife. It was soon after this that God called me to write, and between my call to work with the children and my books which had already given me a key to the local primary schools, when Joel died, 22 years ago, I was not left time to grieve. The schools were waiting.

But now I am in a care home and so, perhaps, acceptable to think about dying, but not to our wonderful carers. We have one 99 year old, looking forward to a wonderful celebration, but they encourage us all to continue to enjoy life.

I am so blessed to have a quiet day and am happily sitting in my ‘Eagle’s Nest’ with a flask of coffee as I have a special story I would like to share with you.

A friend had told her mother, You don’t have to be ill to die. And she wasn’t. She had been helping her daughter with the chores, enjoyed her dinner, sat back with her cup of tea and was gone.

Aged 93, and apart from bring unsteady on my feet living an active life, I hope I am not unprepared for God to call me home. Joel had been active, preaching up to a fortnight before he died. Yes, of course bereavement is painful, but God has been so good to me. ‘Grace Community Church,’

planted from Brackla is the fulfilment of Joel’s faith an obedience, has always been a loving family to me and ‘I have and am lacking no good thing’

But perhaps it is excusable that I have been thinking about dying, but it is not what God wants.

I have been feeling ‘poorly’ but so do lots of people my age, so off I went in the community bus for the lunch club. It was our gentle Pastor Clive who was preaching. He asked us what our last prayer might be before we got to heaven (or something like that). Oh. Surely I could answer this.

I found myself sitting in a queue to get to Jesus and then I was there. His arms were round me. I was in his arms, a wonderful Welsh ‘cwtch.’ He gave me a polish, ----- and then - Yes, he sent me back.

Oh, it is so wonderful to know that we are sent by Jesus. And that every day that we live is a special gift from God.

There are so many things I cannot do now, but thank God that I can sometimes, still write, and pray, be thankful for so many blessings and wonderful family and friends.

Pauline