We were in a Watch-night service, perhaps around
mid-night when I clearly saw a picture of a path of light, spreading before me.
Then God began to put into words this picture he was giving me. This was
my first experience of the gift of prophecy, which my friend, Esther Knight
informed me would become the most precious thing in my life.
It was only later that I came across this verse
in the Bible, and indeed many utterances I had heard through seasoned prophets,
were all based on this wonderful Book, the Bible.
Looking back I remember how I began my walk on this
shining path. It was through Billy Graham and also my faithful friend Esther
that I had learned that Jesus had died, not just for Adam, but if no one else
had sinned, that he had needed to die that terrible death for me, but although
now I was meeting with God in a wonderful way, I was still going to worship
with those who denied this evangelical teaching.
I was in mental agony, until I cried out, ‘Lord, it
was so easy for your disciples. They just had to follow Jesus and I am trying
to find out what is right and what is wrong.’
Clearly God spoke into my heart.
‘No,’ he told me. ‘ It is just the same for you. It is
just for you to follow Jesus.’
‘Lord, if that is really true, make it so plain for me
that it is either to choose you or deny you.’
It was a very few weeks later that God did just that.
Explaining my dilemma to Esther’s father, he told me, ‘For me to go where they
deny that Jesus is God would be to deny my Lord.’
I knew the decision was made. I would never go back. I
found myself embraced in the fellowship of the Apostolic Church and on the
shining path. No turning back.
It was a few years along this path that I thought God
was calling me to be a missionary. Every time I heard a missionary speaking I
felt I was being called there, until I realised that maybe God wanted me to be
willing to go anywhere for him. So for several years I continued as a teacher
in the needy mission field of London’s East End.
Esther meanwhile had gone to Nigeria. But there was no
call for me to work beside her, and yet there had to be somewhere with no
mountains or log bridges, for I was not of an adventurous nature.
Then a request came from Australia for teachers or
nurses with a missionary calling so I responded, but heard nothing back for two
years. Perhaps all God askes is for us to be willing? In the meantime I had
become a deputy headmistress and in line for a headship which had helped me to
become more confident.
So I was being led along this shining path until I was
in a prayer meeting, my flight booked for the following Sunday en route for
Australia and eventually Papua New Guinea. It was then I had a panic
attack.
‘Lord, I won’t be able to leave everyone I know and go
alone.’
The Lord answered me.
‘I am going. You can come with me, or leave me.’
Whatever decision I have to take, it is always –
to choose Christ or to deny him, as I had asked.
Now in my old age I know some have feared that I have
rushed into decision-making, but my Saviour is the Wonderful Counsellor,
and he continues to prove to me that his will is good and acceptable and
perfect. He never asks me to step into any situation without coming with me.
Our Saviour does not ask all of us to go to foreign
shores or to learn foreign languages, but he has a plan and purpose for each
one of us that is good and acceptable and perfect and if we ask him he will
make it a shining path for each one of us.
